The Feeling Of Being Alone

The Feeling Of Being Alone – “Our language wisely felt these two sides of man's loneliness. It created the word “loneliness” to express the pain of being alone. And it created the word “solitude” to express the glory of being alone”, wrote the theologian Paul Tillich in The Eternal Now.

Being lonely and being alone are two very different things. Why can some people be perfectly happy when they are alone, and others might feel lonely even when they are with a group of friends?

The Feeling Of Being Alone

What is the difference? We sometimes associate ‘being alone' with ‘being lonely' and it is important to note that there is a difference between the two. Being “alone” is a physical state in which you are physically alone. Being “lonely” is an emotional state where you feel alone or disconnected from others – even if they are right next to you. Sometimes we are happy to be alone, and sometimes we desire the company of others. –Sharon Melin, MA, outpatient therapist.

It's Time To Rethink What Loneliness Is

The main difference between being lonely and being alone is emotional attachment. Being alone is a state of being, while loneliness is a feeling. We can be perfectly happy when we are alone, but we can also be lonely even when we are with a group of people. Loneliness stems from the feeling that our true selves are not seen or understood, neither by others nor from within. Solitude is desired by many people, but feared by others. Part of this has to do with our relationship with ourselves.

If you consistently enjoy being alone, it's a good sign that you have a healthy relationship with yourself. If you find yourself avoiding alone time at all costs, it could be a sign that you need to work on that relationship. Of course there are times when we feel lonely, and that can be completely normal. But if you feel lonely more often than not, don't be afraid to ask for help.

When we are in balance, we enjoy our alone time and the company of others. We are attuned to when to isolate ourselves for inner reflection, and when to go outside to be with people. Our relationship with ourselves and others is balanced; we have a sense of individuality, but also recognize and support our need for a role as part of a larger group.

Loneliness Is Not Just A Feeling Of Being Alone….

Learning to accept ourselves as we are is a daily practice. There are habits we can implement to work on improving our inner relationship, such as:

While understanding the difference between being lonely and being alone takes the amount of time it took you to read this far, developing and strengthening the relationship with yourself takes much more time. The process of creating a portal of acceptance and love within is a journey and ironically, you don't have to do it alone. Having a qualified professional to help you get started opens up an opportunity for you to build a relationship with yourself that supports the life you want to create. Check out our providers to find a therapist that's right for you.

Nervous about starting therapy? Check out our counseling and psychotherapy services that tell you what to expect from the program. One may be the loneliest number, but research shows that a lack of acquaintances isn't the only warning sign of loneliness.

Being Lonely And Being Alone: What's The Difference?

Have you ever wondered why you feel alone even in a crowded room? Even in the midst of family and friends, we can all feel alone and lonely. After all, musicians from Elvis to Cher to Akon have been whining about loneliness for years.

Do you know the definition of loneliness? According to the Merriam-Webster online dictionary, loneliness means to be without company; cut off from others; sad to be alone

That's because the emotions that come up when you feel alone can be quite powerful — they can cause low spirits and depression, and in extreme cases, loneliness can lead to earlier death, says John Cacioppo, PhD, a psychologist at the University of Chicago in Illinois.

The Secret To Mastering Being Alone Without Feeling Lonely

According to the Mayo Clinic, having a strong social support network is essential during difficult times, whether it's stress at work or a year filled with loss or illness. A social support network consists of family, friends and peers. Having intimate relationships with others helps you feel cared for and maintain optimism, and helps with stress management. All of these emotional benefits lead to stronger immunity to help you fight off illness and stress.

In heart patients, depression is as good a predictor of imminent death as smoking, obesity or a previous heart attack.

“Study after study shows that people who are lonely, depressed and isolated are three to five times more likely to die prematurely than people who feel connected in their lives,” says Dr. Ornish.

Loneliness Is Contagious

In a Duke University Medical Center study of 1,400 men and women with at least one severely blocked artery, the unmarried patients without close friends were three times more likely than the others to die within the next five years. Similar findings came in a Canadian study of 224 women with breast cancer. Seven years after diagnosis, 72 percent of women survived with at least one intimate relationship; only 56 percent of those who did not have a counselor survived. The type of intimacy needed seems to be an emotional connection with someone, not necessarily a sexual relationship.

Another supportive study, published in the Journal of the American Medical Association, revealed that people with more diverse social networks (less social isolation) have a greater resistance to upper respiratory infections.

But how do you solve loneliness? Everyone feels a little lonely sometimes, and experts say that this loneliness can actually be a good thing, as long as you do something about it. “Loneliness is actually an evolutionary adaptation that should push us back to socialization, a state where we are happier and safer,” says Dr. Cacioppo.

How Does It Really Feel To Be Lonely?

According to research published in the journal Sleep, loneliness can ruin your chances of getting a good night's sleep. Researchers measured the sleep cycles of 95 people in South Dakota and compared them to the participant's self-reported loneliness scores. None of them led solitary lives, but some reported feeling lonelier than others.

The results? The lonelier the participant, the higher the levels of fragmented sleep. “What we found is that loneliness does not seem to change the total sleep amount of individuals, but rather wakes them up more often during the night,” said lead author Lianne Kurina, PhD, in a press release.

“When you feel lonely, you show more microarousal,” noted Cacioppo, co-author of the study. This means that you wake up a little during the night, although you are not aware of it.

A Way Out Of Loneliness: Steps Toward Well Being When You're Feeling Alone

How does a steamy bath or a hot cup of coffee sound to you? If it sounds all comforting, you might want to read this:

“The lonelier someone is, the more showers and baths they take, the warmer the water gets, and the longer they stay underwater,” says John Bargh, PhD, a psychologist and researcher at Yale University in New Haven, Connecticut, who led to a study of physical warmth and social bonding. For his research, published in February 2012 in the journal Emotion, Bargh surveyed 51 college students about their levels of loneliness and daily habits, and concluded that some people use physical warmth as a substitute for social warmth. The students who reported feeling lonelier also spent longer in the shower.

There's nothing wrong with that, says Bargh: people don't always control the reasons why they feel alone. It could be due to a breakup or a recent move. You can also use this finding to your advantage: The next time you feel lonely, have a cup of hot chocolate ready.

Being Alone & Being Lonely, The Difference

The reason you're so attached to your new computer, refurbished bike or overpriced handbag? According to research published in the Journal of Consumer Research, some people go crazy over inanimate objects because they are lonely.

The researchers call this “love of material possessions,” and you've probably seen it a few times: your neighbor calling his car “baby,” or your great-aunt taking pride in her gun collection. Because these people suffer from a lack of social connections, they begin to love their things.

And as you can probably guess, most experts say that possessions are not a healthy substitute for real relationships. Some studies even indicate that having stuff has little effect on your happiness level; you are better off spending the money on an experience, like a vacation.

Best 30+ Alone Images With Quotes & Feeling Loneness

According to research published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology by Cacioppo and colleagues, loneliness can be contagious. In fact, you're 52 percent more likely to feel lonely if someone you're directly connected to is also lonely, Cacioppo says.

Why? If you feel empty or isolated, you may act more hostile and awkward towards another person, who in turn acts somewhat negatively towards someone else, and so on. The result can be an explosion of social isolation and rejection.

You know all about your cousin's recent trip to Hawaii – but not because she told you about it; you've seen her pictures on Facebook.

Being Alone Quotes To Remind You That Solitude Does Not Equal Lonely

According to Facebook, users spend an average of fifty minutes each on their Facebook, Instagram and Messenger platforms. “Social networking feels temporarily satisfying for people who turn to it as a means of communication,” explains Cacioppo.

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