(wow) Words Of Wonders Level 1162 Answers – Episode 513: Dear Economist, I Need a Date: Planet Money Here at Planet Money, we often wonder: How useful is economics in our daily lives? Can the principles of economics be applied to the most intimate of human experiences, such as love?
When Lisa signed up to match.com, she felt she was ready to try something new. Not online dating – she had met people online before – but overall she felt like she needed a whole new approach.
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Lisa Chow, author: I should have been a little more aggressive about it. I had to be more diligent and not only that – and I had to focus.
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JOFF WALT: Lisa was 31 years old. She just moved back to New York and actually spent her 20s in a series of long-term relationships.
Chu: At 31, I decided I no longer had that luxury. I couldn’t do it anymore. And so I was much more efficient (laughs).
JOFTWALT: Lisa, as you may have guessed, this is our very own Lisa Chow, a reporter here at Planet Money. But that was 2008, long before he was here with us. And until yesterday none of us knew the story.
Chow: And that’s how I started going on dates. And it got a little overwhelming. So I did something – I created an excel file and just started writing their names.
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Chow: Yes, I have (laughter) – I have a spreadsheet in front of me. And somehow I made these different columns. Actually – one, two, three, four, five – six columns.
JOFF WALT: Lisa needed the table because in a year and a half, Lisa Chow went on 50 dates – 50 first dates.
Chow: Twenty-two of the 50 I went on second dates with. Yes, there were many meetings.
Chow: Yeah, I really liked it. I mean, I – you know, it’s so funny. I was really pleasantly surprised. I mean, the boys were really cool. They were really nice people.
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Joff Walt: This is literally the first time I’ve ever heard of a woman dating online.
JOFFET-WALT: I asked Lisa to come on tonight’s show because my partner Lisa is a secret dating genius. I have no idea. She went on 50 first dates and never got sad, stressed or disappointed. She was just efficient and rational. She really enjoyed the whole experience.
That’s what he did. She went on 50 dates. And every time she would go home after the date and write the month, year, hour, place, name and a memorable detail.
Geoff Walt: Who I just saw, who I loved? Look, for this man, you’ve shook your head too much. a socially inept Russian; This guy is West Coast handsome but a very sweet friend.
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Joff Walt: At the time, Lisa had many friends who were also dating online. And everybody complained all the time, you know, I wrote to five guys, and only one answered me.
Chow: When I was in online dating, I never emailed people. I mean, some people might call it rejection. But I just said I was going to reduce my transaction costs and just winked. And if they are really interested, they will write. I remember actually sitting down, watching some HBO show (laughter) and just, like, sitting at the computer and – click, click, click – you know – blink, blink – you. Know, and even I am not well think about it.
Joff Walt: The meeting was going to happen very soon after first contact. Lisa didn’t want to fantasize about this man before she had the chance to meet him and then be disappointed. Likewise, there are no Friday and Saturday evening dates. She told me that coming home after a bad weekend date is depressing, so she never lets it happen. And when Lisa went on a third date with someone, she always took them to a social gathering with some random friends of hers. Thus, she could observe them in social settings.
In other words, Lisa took some typically mysterious and at least human allure, and tried to strip it of all her confused emotions. I really think that’s what made it so successful. It took what most people find very stressful and annoying, just draining your time, confidence and hope, and made it fun. And he did it using data and statistics.
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And real-life economic reporter Lisa Chu applied the principles of economics to her love life, and it worked.
Chow: There was a guy – wait – it was, about, like, 45 – number 45, right? It’s like we met. We saw each other for about six weeks. And just at some point I decided, well, that’s not going to work. So I cut the cord. And then I – and I thought, was I wrong? As you know, we really had a lot in common. Then the next week I went on a date with Kevin. And I immediately realized that I wasn’t wrong, you know?
And I thought, all these moments that I had – if I’d been with this guy, you know, I wouldn’t have had this opportunity to meet Kevin, right? And so it became very – it crystallized right there. Like, well, that’s the opportunity cost, right? When you’re with this guy, you feel insecure and miss something, you know, Kevin.
SMITH: And Lisa’s story reminded us of something that we wonder about in the dark, dark moments of developing this show, which is how useful is economics in our everyday lives? I mean, how far can you really go? Can you bring it to the most emotional, intimate part of our lives? Today we will try. This episode was originally recorded in 2013 – Financial advice for lovers. At the end of the show, we’ll report how our advice performed in real life. Stay for it.
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JOFFET-WALT: We had a chance to check it out the other day because one of our favorite economists was in New York promoting a new book, Tim Harford.
SMITH: And Tim Horford is a great guy. Worked as an economist at Shell and the World Bank. And then he started doing what we do – descriptive journalism. He wrote a book called The Economist Undercover and a column in the Financial Times. And I imagine it’s a bit difficult for the Financial Times to come up with a theme every week. And then he had a great idea, this funny idea. I’m going to be running an advice column from a lovely economist, Love and Sex Advice for the Broken Hearted.
TIM HARFORD: In many ways, love seems quite separate from economics. But then you realize – well, the stakes are high. This is what is important to us. We are dealing with a deficit. I mean, if you’re dating one guy, at least you won’t have that much time to date another. And you may find that you can only date one person at a time.
SMITH: And something strange happened when he started doing this column. I mean, it’s exactly the same character he played in the beginning. But then real people with real problems started writing. And Tim began to think that the economy really had something to offer these people.
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HARTFORD: It’s simultaneously completely useless and irrelevant, and in some wonderful, hidden, clever way, it keeps generating ideas that aren’t necessarily obvious from the way we normally think about things.
Joff Walt: We knew Tim was coming, and we asked you all to send us your questions about love and sex and anything else you wanted to ask Tim. And we put some of you on the phone with Tim so you can ask him for financial advice directly.
Arthur: Okay, so my question is, I’m in high school and I’ve never been on a date. Should I be worried about it?
Joff Walt: Arthur, can I just ask – what is it about not being on a date that bothers you? What makes you think you should be worried?
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Arthur: I don’t know. It seems like everybody else, you know, like… well, not everybody, but there’s a lot of people around me, you know, and, you know, I’ve got prom coming up and I have no idea. do not have. So it’s kind of — it’s a little stressful.
HARTFORD: Well, Arthur, I think you’re suffering from what behavioral economists call hyperbolic discounting, or simply put, you’re taking a very short-term view.
