Dirty Quotes Images – Dirty humor is back online and we thought it deserved our attention and a special post on our site. Dirty humor, and dirty quotes for adults in particular, are a serious matter—we tend to think of them as one of our greatest natural resources to preserve and share.
1. “Man may have discovered fire, but women discovered how to play with it.” ― Candace Bushnell, Sex and the City
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2. “Sexiness is more than size. I don’t need a bedroom to prove my femininity. I can convey just as much sexiness as picking apples from a tree or standing in the rain.” ― Audrey Hepburn 3. “If you want to date, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library.” – Frank Zappa
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4. “We are all born sexual beings, thank God, but it is sad that many people despise and crush this natural gift.” – Marilyn Monroe
5. “The main reason Santa is so happy is because he knows where all the bad girls live.” ― George Carlin 6. “No woman gets an orgasm by shining on the kitchen floor. ” ― Betty Friedan 7. “In a perfect world, you could woo people without giving them a piece of your heart. And every glowing kiss and every touch of the flesh is another piece of heart you’ll never see again.” – Neil Gaiman, Fragile Things: Short Fictions and Wonders
9. “Sex is kicking death in the ass while singing.” ― Charles Bukowski 10. “Those sweet lips. Oh, oh, I can kiss those lips all night. Good things come to those who wait.” ― Jess S. Scott, The Intern
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11. “Everything in the world is about sex, except sex. Sex is about power. ― Oscar Wilde 12. “I don’t know the question, but sex is the real answer.” – Woody Allen
Home » Entertainment » 13 dirty quotes for adults that will haunt your wildest (naughty) dreams and tease your imagination. Here you can find all the famous Straight Up and Dirty. There are over 18 in our Straight Up and Dirty collection. We collected them all and made them into stunning Straight Up and Dirty wallpapers and posters. You can use these wallpapers and posters on mobile, desktop, print and frame them or share them on various social media platforms. You can download the images in different sizes for free. In the list below you will find some of the famous authors like Stephanie Klein
It’s breaking news to me that dating as a 30-something divorcee is about as painful as having cold sores.
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Dating means nightclubs, heels and black. It means, “No thanks. I’m really full.” This means matching bra and underwear. Clothing with the word MICRO used in the description.
Dad, I won’t do any better. He’s smart and funny and good looking..”Stephanie,” he took both of my hands, “how could you do anything worse?” The best rhetorical question.
I hate that I let him touch my sweat that he knows how to kiss me. I want to get things from him, but things are temporary.
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Cookie, you need to stop ending things early before they even start. I know you’re afraid of becoming vulnerable, but if you keep stopping things before they even start, just out of fear, you’ll never know.” I’d never know joy. Damn. I’m worried she was right. What would what happens if I’m too fast in “Fuck Your Loss” mode? How do you get back “You’re not the one who missed”? Me and my drama traps.
My therapist told me I needed to learn to love myself. It sounds easy, but really, how do you wake up one day and learn this? It seems like something you have to do involuntarily, like swallowing or closing your eyes, but now I have to do it. It seems forced. I mean, I know I went to a good school and people tell me I’m smart and creative, but I don’t KNOW that. I don’t know how to make myself feel it.
I want you to think about two different situations. First remember the times when you felt your best, at the top of your game, alive and vibrant. Pay attention to your posture, your facial muscles, your breathing. Next, I want you to think about times when you have experienced pain or anxiety. Just don’t think about people. Think about activities. This will help us show what makes you happy. Pay attention to how your body reacts to these situations – it will serve as your biggest indicator in the future when you actually do things.” This woman is very smart. “And remember, it’s okay to be sad, but try just. limit your bouts with it to one hour a day. Let it all out, give yourself this time to heal, nurture and comfort yourself. You can’t heal if you’re not sad. Grieving is good.” “Good grief?” “Yes. It takes courage to grieve.
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He’s already heard my funnel cake and celery theory. Most men can be like a funnel: tasty and interesting, but at the end of the day not good for the heart or complexion. Or they’re celery: a sensible, healthy choice that doesn’t really bring much to the table, but an occasional crunch. If you lean towards celery, you’ll be deaf to the cake behind closed doors. Funnel cake, while warm and delicious, is difficult to make. But you go there because you long for it like a roller coaster when you arrive at a roller coaster. Wet strips of dough pop and pop until golden and crisp, yielding in the center. The steaming swirl of soft yellow dough soaks up the confectioners’ sugar like holes. As the luxurious fat melts on your tongue, take a breath. You have sticky batter, running through the spouts, leaving rings on your clean counters, splattering oil that darkens and starts to smoke. Layers of paper towels and arms to drain the oil are scattered around your space. With a funnel cake, you have steps to follow. Procedures. rules. Nobody makes rules about celery. There’s always some for snacks. You go for it when you’re on a diet or trying not to eat too many football wings. Come to think of it, you don’t even bother eating when you’re on a diet. Instead, it’s a blue cheese wire. You use it to make broths and stuffing. It becomes a filler, almost a closet.
Are you happy, are you happy?” I am now,” he said. Maybe that really matters? Live in the present and all the nonsense about the past is over? The future didn’t happen and now is forever? These are not the kinds of claims that stand next to question marks.
In relationships, I always have a reason why some time in the future will be better for me than this day. When I was fat, I thought I felt good when I was thin, and when I was thin, I thought I’d be happier if I was more toned and muscular and had more money to look more coordinated. I don’t feel comfortable in my own skin unless there’s a man there to tell me how fair that skin is. I was a victim of low self-esteem and had a bad case of Soon syndrome. I run towards a brighter future, unaware of the mirages I’ve created in the distance.
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I can’t touch anything. What if this was my life, attending weddings, sitting in chairs, listening to what I was doing, constantly wanting someone to be in my life? where is the wine
If someone wants to live a double life, they will find a way to do it. And they can promise you things until your veins open up and you finally get back on your feet. But this could all be a lie. There are no guarantees even if people mean what they are saying right now. People change their minds. People are dying. And the pain is as real as a baseball bat.
I’m on a mission. I had to learn to comfort myself, to see what others saw in me and to believe that. I had to find what made me happy besides love. Mission Impossible. When did figuring out what makes you happy become work? How did I let it get to this point where I had to learn..? It’s a shame. In my college psychology class, I studied theories of adult development and learned that our twenties are about experimenting, exploring different careers, and finding what satisfies us. My professor cautioned against graduate school, claiming, “You’re not fully formed yet. You don’t know if this is what you really want to do with your life because you haven’t tried enough things.’ Oh no, I’m not..’ And if you rush into something you’re not sure about, you might wake up mid-life you have a crisis on your hands,” he pointed out. hi Try to wake up earlier
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